Alex Jones selling his sperm to repopulate the earth after the reptilian takeover
it’s summer, i got my tinfoil hat on backwards, and it’s time to fucking DEFEAT THE NEW WORLD ORDER
it’s summer, i got my hat on backwards, and it’s time to fucking get a real hat so I don’t have to party with this football helmet over my face.
"oh, I’m sorry kid, you can’t be in here without adult supervision"
"it’s okay, the government is watching me"
update: I am watching that Dratch & Fey stage show now, and it is wonderful.
special guest appearance by 1999 and Len’s “Steal My Sunshine”
fact: we can only use 10% of our brain because the government takes 90% of it #wakeupsheeple
"here’s your ticket and glasses. enjoy the show."
"wait, I didn’t want the 3D showing of The Fault in our Stars!”
"no, these are instagram filter glasses. trust me, it’s how the movie was meant to be experienced.”
"can I still pop the lenses out and wear the frames to school tomorrow like everyone else does?"
"no, actually we aren’t doing that anymore, but you can trade them in to be recycled afterwards for a complimentary souvenir cigarette."
songs that were cut from Weird Al’s newest album:
"okay class, who wants to hear The Latest Internet Joke Sensation?" "me, me!" "actually, it’s pronounced meem, have fun in detention dork"