Posted 8 hours ago

Anyway, it’s that time again (time to go to work), which means it’s time to go through my morning routine: hop into my Casual Friday clothes (button up shirt and mom jeans) while listening to a track from Zen Arcade, listen to Gambino’s “Real Estate” while doing my hair, put down the straightener and rap into the mirror when Tina’s part comes on, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, be myself and have fun :)

Posted 8 hours ago

(I wouldn’t normally comment on stuff like that because I always feel like it comes off as mean, but the ESP thing came to me before I could finish reading the reply, and the inertia of a bad joke is an unstoppable force.)

Posted 9 hours ago

hmmmm, are you trying to tell me that communists CAN’T read minds? I’ve got a political science degree, bucko. I think I know my ESP (extra socialist perception).

Posted 19 hours ago

thank you Jody, you are very…. To See The Rest Of This Reply, Please Send .99 Bitcoins (cash, check, or money order) To The Bitcoin Address At The Bottom Of Your Screen.

Posted 19 hours ago

actually, officer, it’s just an e-molotov cocktail. see? it’s just vapor. your car will be fine.

Posted 19 hours ago
Posted 20 hours ago

fact: communism means you share everything. including your thoughts. communists can all read minds. if someone is against communism it just means they’re thinking stuff they don’t want you to know about, and it’s probably gross. yuck.

Posted 21 hours ago

excuse me, do you have a permit to be performing street magic? it’s where? you want me to take off my shoes? I don’t see what this has to do with — oh. nice. okay sir, have a good day.

Posted 22 hours ago

nice try communists, you can smash capitalism all you want, but just remember: you break it, you buy it.

Posted 22 hours ago

And then the Lord said, “my child, when you saw only one pair of footprints in the sand, it was then that I was running shirtless behind you in slow motion! didn’t you hear the Baywatch theme playing?”

Posted 23 hours ago

The high school I sub at is right next door to the library I work at, and the library is right across the street from the middle school I also sub at. The hell triangle.

Every weekday at 3pm students from both schools converge at the library, students who obviously don’t know it’s a library, otherwise they wouldn’t swarm the place while running and screaming. It never ends. I can’t get away from these nerds.

Posted 23 hours ago

Short horror story: The last meme on earth sat alone in a room. There was no knock at the door, for there was no gf.

Posted 1 day ago

currently being detained because apparently I just took a picture with the only secret service agent who has never heard the term “photobombing” before.

Posted 1 day ago

this next debate question is for you, Governor. what is your plan for dealing with the stain on your tie? haha made you look! made you look! next question: how does your opponent feel about you being a total nerd?

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